Friday, September 30, 2011

Temporary Hiatus For The Blog

You may have noticed my sever lack of posting recently. Well, it's not that I don't love you. I was recently hired as the staff writer for Guyism covering all things alcohol industry related, and I've been busy trying to build out my network of industry contacts. I'll be reviewing products; sharing news, funny stories, and videos; trying out gadgets; and pretty much anything else the avid drinker may have interest in. I'm still going to be posting any FlintSkinny style awesome pictures/videos on the facebook page, but I just don't have time to write out witty commentary on the blog. Head to Facebook to follow me so you don't miss out and check out the work I've been doing for Guyism. That site really does have everything you could need from the internet, so join the party.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Weetabix Consumers Are Assholes

I've been meaning to start a video campaign mocking commericials that don't make any sense. Many of the offenders are beer commercials, but it spreads far wider than that. Take this cereal commercial for example. I don't mind that they are trying to piggy back on the current popularity of dubstep. I don't even find dancing with teddy bears to be creepy in the slightest. My problem is that at the very end of the ad we see that the little girl had three friends sitting there watching her routine. Normally that would be fine, but the commercial started with her sitting at the desk quietly eating cereal. What kind of person sits there facing the other direction, enjoying a tasty bowl of whatever the hell Weetabix are, while her friends just sit on the floor empty handed? If that's the sort of person that eats this cereal, I want no part of it.

What If Computer Problems Were Real?

I fancy myself to be fairly tech savvy. I can't fix a computer or install hardware, but I don't get bogged down by stupid shit. I run lean and fast, and that's the way I like it. For the most part, these problems don't affect me. For you common folks though, some of this might seem fairly familiar. My advice would be to befriend your IT department. With the occasion surprise Egg McMuffin, you can get them on your good side. That doesn't mean they won't hate you for asking if they'll fix your laptop, but they might actually say yes instead of brutally mocking you.

via Buzzfeed

Steve Martin Gives Eddie Murphy Oscar Tips

Mystery Guitar Man's Epic Symphony

Everyone knows that I've been impressed by Mystery Guitar Man's creativity for quite some time now. This time he pushed the envelope even further by involving the YouTube community at large. He put out a call to anyone with an instrument to play a set of notes (he posted sheet music for various instruments) and then post the video. Over 1400 were submitted, from which he took bits and pieces and combined them into the epic collaboration that you see before you. If I had an instrument, I would have gotten involved, but at this point I don't even own a triangle or kazoo.

Google Hates Caturday Just Like I Do

via Mattchew03

Hello Is It Tea You're Looking For?

I'm not scared to admit that I'm a tea drinker. I throw back some green tea every day in a futile attempt to counteract the negative effects of my liver-abusing lifestyle. If someone were to get me this, I would forever be in your debt, or at least until I determined that my gratitude has equaled the 2x teapot's value.

Dubstep Dance That Would Even Impress Michael Jackson

I don't know how long it's been since I posted a dance video, but given that I've been fairly lax about posting anything recently, I'm going to assume it has been awhile. This guy was a great way to get the planets realigned though because he's damn impressive. Dubstep may seem like a strange choice for his style, but it really helps set him apart from every other dickbag filming himself and throwing it on youtube.

In the paraphrased words of a commentor, fuck you physics.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Childish Gambino - Bonfire Lyrics

Donald Glover is officially my new favorite rapper. I don't care if he's an actor first, he's leaps and bounds ahead of anyone else out there right now. And don't both disagreeing, my ears are closed to your irrational arguments.

Okay, it’s Childish Gambino, homegirl drop it like the NASDAQ
Move white girls like there’s coke up my asscrack
Move black girls cause, man, fuck it, I’ll do either
I love pussy, I love bitches, dude, I should be runnin’ PETA
In Adidas, with some short shorts, B-O-O all over me
My green is where it's supposed to be, your green is in my grocery
This Asian dude, I stole his girl, and now he got that Kogi beef
My dick is like an accent mark, it’s all about the over Es
Hot like a parked car
I sound weird like nigga with hard R
Fly like the logo on my cousin’s 440
Eatin’ Oreos like these white girls that blow me
Vodka for my ladies, whiskey for a grown man
Hangin’ in the islands, lookin’ for Earl like Toejam
I made the beat retarded, so I’m callin’ it a slow jam
Butcher and I know it, man, kill beef, go ham
These rappers are afraid of him
Cause I’m a beast, bitch, Gir, Invader Zim
Gambino is a call girl, fuck you, pay me
Brand new whip for these niggas like slavery
Told me I was awful man, that shit did not phase me
Tell me how I suck again, my memory is hazy
“You're my favorite rapper now” Yeah, dude, I better be
Or you can fuckin’ kiss my ass, Human Centipede
You wanna see my girl? I ain’t that dumb
You wanna see my girl? Check Maxim
"Man, why does every black actor gotta rap some?”
I don’t know, all I know is I’m the best one

It’s a bonfire, turn the lights out
I’m burnin’ everything you muthafuckas talk about

[Verse 2]
You know these rapper dudes talk shit, start killin’
Fuck that, got goons like an archvillain
I’m from the South, ain’t got no accent, don’t know why
So this rap is child’s play, I do my name like Princess Di
Yeah, they say they want the realness, rap about my real life
Told me I should just quit: “first of all, you talk white!
Second off, you talk like you haven't given up yet"
Rap's stepfather, yeah, you hate me but you will respect
I put in work, ask Ludwig
Put my soul on the track like shoes did
Played this for my cousin, now he can’t even think straight
Black and white music? Now, nigga, that’s a mixtape
Shoutout to my blerds, they represent the realness
Shoutout to Gambino Girls, my dick is in the building
I know you hate me cause your little cousin play me out
I like white girls who nerdy but when they dance they saying ‘Owwww"
I'm sorry for who followed me
Chillin’ with a Filipino, at your local Jollibee
Yeah, I’m in her ass like sodomy
So if you see my hand under the table, don’t bother me
I don't talk soft, that's that other guy
I’m screamin’ “What the fuck is up?” like I ain't seen the sky
And shit I’m doin’ this year? Insanity
Made the beat then murdered it, Casey Anthony
These rappers don’t know what to do
Cause all I did was act me like a Looney Tune
I’ll give you all of me until there’s nothing left
I swear this summer will be summer Camp, bitch