T.O. AND THE CHADFUNKELS

T.O. and Ochocinco trying to coexist in the land of criminals should be wildly entertaining.  While there is only 11 minutes of actual playing time during the average football game, these two will give the commentators and reporters plenty to talk about.  I really hope there is a huge bump in the number of Cincinnati Bengals games that are televised because I can't wait to watch.

PACEY-CON WITH JOSHUA JACKSON

If you have been online in the past week, you are well aware of the huge convention that took place over the weekend. Fans flocked from every state and 53 different countries all for one event. It takes a great man to bring all these people together, and Pacey Witter is that man.

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson from Joshua Jackson

HUMP DAY INAPPROPRIATE PHOTO DUMP

Fun for everyone!

Best excuse I've ever heard.

Aww that's sweet. Can we double team you?

Amen.

What passes for game in Inception.

Ladies, remember this next time I flip out.

Now that's just wrong...and illegal.

Now that's just a logical progression.

Kids are a little too extreme now. We never had a maybe box.

That's a HUGE cock.

Choose your own adventure

Who has sex for pleasure anyways?

Like I've always said, JC was bangin' away 16-33

The #1 lesbian honeymoon destination

Pickup Line of the Year

VOICE TALKERS

I have always wanted a voiceover person to follow me around for a couple days and narrate my life. I am a pretty awesome guy, and nothing would top that off quite like a play-by-play description of my daily activities done by a trained vocal professional. It's going to have to be one of the deep, sexy, slightly creepy voices though, because the mom and younger brother in this video make me want to kill myself, and that would make for a pretty short narration. "One man, one decision. Death is the only way out."

FORTUNE 500 COMPANY USES COMIC SANS

With thousands of fonts out there it can be tough to choose the right one to convey your message.  One thing is certain though, it shouldn't be Comic Sans.  Everyone knows that it's the biggest joke in the history of written language.

TURF DANCING IN THE RAIN

It's been awhile since I've posted a dance video, but the time has arrived to return to the subject. I saw Step Up 2(The Streets) and this video is far better than the dancing in the rain scene from that movie, though it does lack the incredibly attractive females.  I hesitate to use the word beautiful, because that's just not how I describe things, but it does seem fairly appropriate.  I think it's the music that got me.

For those curious, the dancers are No Noize (red jacket), Man (back jacket), BJ (striped shirt), Dreal (white shirt).


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TRONGS COMMERCIAL

I swear if any of you buy these I will back trace you and consequences will never be the same. Add these to a long list of stupid ass products that are likely to do well because of stupid ass housewives.  If I saw a guy eating wings with trongs, I would send him over a Smirnoff Ice and then smash it into his teeth when he went to drink it.

GREATEST FACEBOOK COMEBACK OF ALL TIME

A couple years ago I posted a picture talking about how arguing on the internet is retarded.  I remain firm on that point, but I still find it hilarious.  In the past two years the trolls have only gotten worse, honing the skills with which they piss off the masses.  Here is a case though where it's not even trolling, it's just one friend pissing off another, and it leads to the greatest comeback ever. Finally someone has found a way to end the most lame arguing technique ever.

TYPICAL WEBSITE EVOLUTION - ADS!

You're welcome for me not doing this crap...though I always consider it.  I figure no one actually clicks on ads in blogs anyways though so why bother slowing everything down.
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WALMART MOONWALK

Since I started The Skinny, a lot of people have forwarded me emails or sent in pictures from PeopleofWalmart.  At first they were incredibly funny, repeatedly causing that "these people really exist?" feeling.  After awhile they all just seem very typical and aren't really all that entertaining.  Then this guy comes along and shows us that there are some awesome people roaming the aisles of your favorite discount store, not just fat white trash on Amigos.



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KINGSLEY HATES AIRPLANES

Kingsley, my favorite hate filled person, is back venting about the song Airplanes by B.o.B, and I couldn't agree more with his stance. Fuck that song. Shooting starts are just rocks and other shit hitting our atmosphere and burning up. You know how much stuff is floating around out there? A shitload, that's how much. If you are wishing on a shooting star, you are really just putting your hopes and dreams into a flaming piece of shit. Congrats, hope that works out for you.  I however will be trying to improve my life by wasting time on the internet instead of wasting time on stupid wishes. Plus, everyone knows that only genies can grant wishes....idiot.

ANOTHER FUCKIN MONDAY

This feels about right for a Monday. If only I was a bear, he looks quite comfortable.
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JON LAJOIE HANDS COMMERCIAL

Having seen this, I am sorry for taking my hands for granted all these year. I never really considered all the things I wouldn't be able to do without them. My life would have been a lot different if I couldn't hold a picture of Emilio Estevez or partake in some racist gardening.

YOU ARE A UNIQUE BUTTERFLY

I may not be unique, but I am better than you. And I don't need a picture to prove that.

20 PARROT TRICKS IN 2 MINUTES

Just yesterday I was thinking about how stupid having a fish(a huge aquarium is a different story) or a bird as a pet was.  They don't do anything but sit in their bowl or cage and do nothing. A bird is even worse because it makes a shitload of noise.  Well, I take it back, at least with regard to this guy's parrot.  I can't see ever wanting to have a bird still, but at least he put it to good use. I'm not sure how you teach a bird to do tricks, but I fully support it.

MICHAEL JACKSON WANTS YOUR GLOVE

Good to see that Michael Jackson is still trolling people from the grave. Too bad they butched "Shamone!"
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GREEN TEA BOOBS

Not sure if you saw the list, probably not since I just made it up in my head right now, but this is most likely to top the "2010 Top Things That Make The World Awesome."

I HEART UR VAGINA

Well, if the pickup lines don't work, you can always just flash your shirt.  Is this one of those things you buy yourself as a present for your girlfriend, kinda like the reverse of her buying lingerie?  In any case, someone should probably send me one.

JESUS WANTS PETER TO FOLLOW HIM.

Jesus may not have been talking about Twitter when conversing with Peter, but I am. Follow me! @TheFlintSkinny Also, you should follow Jesus too because he's far more humorous than MOST. @Jesus_M-Christ
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VAN DAMME FRIDAY MEGAMIX

Click the post's Title Bar for the full onslaught of pictures and videos if your reading from the homepage.

I figure it's been long snought out of the spotlight that it's time to ressurect Van Damme Friday. What better way to get it started than to have a huge content dump from past posts? There are a few others that weren't included, but this pretty much sums up the highlights. Look forward to a new post every Friday from now on. He's got a lot of DVD covers that need to make their way onto The Skinny. Let's start off with a few quick facts.

• Known as The muscles from Brussels.
• His fight scenes are so intense that he won't film them in the U.S. for fear of being sued.
• Van Damme moved to the USA in 1981, didn't speak English, didn't know anyone,and only had 2,000 dollars to his name, which he lived on for almost 5 yrs.
• In 1989, he was sued for willfully gouging the eye of an extra in a swordfight while filming CYBORG.
• He won a court case filed against him by martial arts legend Frank Dux, who claimed he collaborated with Van Damme on his 1996 directorial debut THE QUEST, only for Van Damme to deny him any share of the profits. His evidence was lost in an earthquake. Coincidentally, Van Damme played Dux in his debut BLOODSPORT (1988).
• He was once said he learned to speak English by watching the cartoon THE FLINTSTONES.
• He studied classical ballet for five years
• Is giving his fans the chance to look just like him - by launching his own clothes line.
• Wants the world to know he is back for good.
• HARD TARGET (1993) originally was to end with a boat chase, but was changed to a horseback chase due to his insistence.
• In TIMECOP (1994), while riding in the sled which will transport him into the future, Jean-Claude Van Damme takes out a stick of chewing gum called Black Black, a brand of Japanese gum. During 1994, Van Damme appeared in television commercials for Black Black chewing gum in Japan.
• Jean-Claude's father's mother was Jewish.
• He can play the piano.

Van Damme summons his fairy spirit